Active Listening
Here is my pre-flection on the art of active listening. From personal experience, I can say surely that active listening is not something natural. It requires training, practice and effort, great amount of effort, in order to succeed in the art of active listening. I often think that listening is the same thing compared to hearing. That is one of the most common misconception people have about listening, especially when it comes to active listening. Listening and hearing are two completely different acts. If you think about it, hearing is a natural process and a physical experience. However, listening is not. It's more than just physical because it requires mental power as well. When you listen, you need to understand, if not completely, generally what the other person was talking about. When you hear, you don't necessarily need to understand what was it that you hear. It is not an easy thing to be a good listener. And yet, we don't spend enough time on this art. Because of that, many conflicts have been created from the lack of active listening. Fortunately, we can also use the skill of active listening to resolve conflict .
Here is an article on active listening that can help you become a better active listener and surprisingly, marketer
http://www.icpas.org/icpas/sia/practice/activelistening.asp

Here is my reflection on the art of active listening.
Active listening skill requires
Attending
A: Eye contact B: Posture C: Gesture
S.O.L.E.R.
Five steps to attentive listening
Squarely face the person Open your posture Lean towards the sender Eye contact maintained Relax while attending
Paraphrasing
What is it? Restating a message, but usually with fewer words. Where possible try and get more to the point.
Purpose:
To test your understanding of what you heard.
To communicate that you are trying to understand what is being said. If you’re successful, paraphrasing indicates that you are following the speaker’s verbal explorations and that you’re beginning to understand the basic message.
When listening consider asking yourself:
What is the speaker’s basic thinking message
What is the person’s basic feeling message
E.g. S: I just don’t understand, one minute she tells me to do this, and the next minute to do that. X: She really confuses you. S: I really think he is a very nice guy. He’s so thoughtful, sensitive, and kind. He calls me a lot. He’s fun to go out with. X: You like him very much, then.
Clarifying
What is it: Process of bringing vague material into sharper focus.
Purpose:
To untangle unclear or wrong listener interpretation.
To get more information
To help the speaker see other points of view
To identify what was said e.g. I’m confused, let me try to sate what I think you were trying to say.
You’ve said so much, let me see if I’ve got it all.
Perception Checking
What is it: Request for verification of your perceptions.
Purpose:
To give and receive feedback
To check out your assumptions
e.g. Let me see if I’ve got it straight. You said that you love your children and that they are very important to you. At the same time you can’t stand being with them. Is that what you are saying?
Summarizing
What is it: pulling together, organizing, and integrating the major aspects of your dialogue. Pay attention to various themes and emotional overtones. Pout key ideas and feelings into broad statements. DO NOT add new ideas.
Purpose:
To give a sense of movement and accomplishment in the exchange
To establish a basis for further discussion.
Pull together major ideas, facts, and feelings e.g. A number of good points have been made about rules for the classroom. Let’s take a few minutes to go over them and write them on the board. We’re going all over the map this morning. If I understand you correctly,
The three major points of the story are…
Primary Empathy
What is it: Reflection of content and feelings
Purpose:
To show that you’re understanding the speaker’s experience
To allow the speaker to evaluate his/her feelings after hearing them expressed by someone else Basic Formula:
You feel (state feeling) because (state content)
e.g. Student: I just don’t know how I am going to get all this math homework done before tonight’s game especially since I don’t get most of this stuff you taught us today.
Teacher: You are feeling frustrated and stuck…You are feeling frustrated and stuck with math you don’t know how to do and you’re worried that you won’t figure it out before you go to the game.
The main fear for you seems to be fear -- you’re really scared of losing your relationship if things don’t get better.
It’s upsetting when someone doesn’t let you tell your side of the story.
Advanced Empathy
What is it: reflection of content and feeling at a deeper level.
Purpose: To try and get an understanding of what may be deeper feelings
e.g. -I get the sense that you are really angry about what was said, but I am wondering if you also feel a little hurt by it.
-You said that you feel more confident about contacting employers, but I wonder if you also still feel a bit scared.

Application: It is the most important skill in my personal opinion. I use it everyday at PSEC. We have been working in group on the safe cosmetics campaign. Each of us has a different opinion on how to make the project successful. That's why active listening is so important.
We all listen to one another's ideas and show support like "It's a good idea" or "I like your idea very much". We don't interrupte one another when a person express her idea or feeling. I strongly believe that active listening reduce our chances of corruption and argument. Active listening also give us a better sense of judgement. We made many better decisions from just listening actively.